U can if u want

I always remind myself not to think
I try very hard to forget
When I forced myself not to think
I think even more
I hate myself for being not persistent
I nearly can but suddenly something happen
Again, I FAIL
Maybe what that gal say is right
She will think of that person disadvantage
Make herself hate that person
I will learn from her from now onward
*although is kind of stupid way,I guess* ><
How good it is if I never know you
Or I should say don't approach to make friend with me
U make me sick
My feeling is been mess up
Maybe we should not know each other
Hope is given
At the same time,it is taken away like the lightning
That is cruel !

*From now on,I will escape from u.I wun let myself fall into it as I know it is impossible. Since that moment,I get what u mean & I know how to face u*

Bad moment

Everything seem not going well recently
-my new hp battery got problem
-pay extra money to buy lens as I broke it
-almost everyday headache & gastric

Why--why--why?
My friends say my face look pale & sick
I really got no *semangat* to do anything at all
I just keep sit there dreaming
Empty my mind so that I no need think anything
Many *xin shi*
That no one know
But it show on my face
I didn't know until i was told by frens
The most i worry one contribute to my gastric
Damn!
I got no idea
I feel tired with my life now
No one can cheer me up
I m just moody & emo recently
*idk why*
I m just like air where no one care my exist
Only my blog. I write for myself only.
I write out my heart

The Day I ashame

I was sick of myself today! What wrongs with me actually,might be my nerve is improper function. I thought it was the waste & I wash it off. But,it was the sample that me & my group members prepare for two hours!..At first,when I wash off I didn"t actually reliase until I walk back to my placeand can"t find my sample. I was stung there few second as Idk what should I do..I tell huili about that...she was laughing at me...*luckily she dint blame me for my silly-ness & crazy-ness*. I really feel ashame of myself! How could I do such silly stupid crazy hopeless thing...* i guess i couldn't forget it in my life*
I told my lecturer about it. *with very big courage as I prepare to be lectured/scolded* . He didn"t scold me but instead laughing at me. Asking me to treat it as a lesson. Thanks Dr.Ng...I feel so sorry for my group members. I apologise sincerely..please forgive me. Although I know u guys didn't blame me for it. But I still feel so bad..maybe I will feel better if u guys blame me. I feel so guilty about it. I swear I will be careful & with full concentration next time. should be affect by my gastric too...*drink too much green tea in sushi king*...the medicine is not usefull at all..I stil pain-ing now.....><...please take good care of your gastric while is still healthy..dont end up like me...

Thanks for everyone comfort & even my lecturer...Dr.Ng not even didn't scold me but ask me dun take so serious about it..* your fren look so sad about it,,luckily i didn't scold her if not she sure cry* said by Dr.Ng...I really feel like crying as I feel that I m useless....I waste my frens effort & time...I really get so emo about that. *even now*

Bla bla bla

One word to describe me now - TIRED. Is seriously tired from physical & mental. Midterm test is finally over today. I was like the bird that been release from the cage! Seriously,,,as it took 1 month time. BUT it seems final exam is coming in 1 month.! arghh.......>.<......start revision again?!....Oh No!....I was tired with this type of life. What to do?since is what I chose...@@@@@...Times really flies....How I hope I can have a time machine,get back to the time when I was small,no stress...just eat,play,sleep,,,,not like not! Many things to stress.......

This week gonna be alone week. First time mum & sis is not around.,left dad. He got his own stuff & friends..I was like finding friends for hanging out....as is boring. make me think of a song...*lonely,,I'm mr lonely,,,I had nobody.........* Seeing my friends around,,,sometimes really envy a she with a he beside her....=p

ps: just write out my heart as is difficult to *store* inside..

Scary Creature

Humans is a scary creature
Where he/she can change the behavior drastically
From a stranger to friend to best buddy
OR
From best buddy to friend to stranger
It just happen in the real life everyday at anywhere
*I guess so*
When it happen to yourself
What most people will do is - do not accept the fate & escaped
*fyi,I m that type of people*
Unless he/she is not worth for you to put on effort to grab back the relationship
How if he/she is a important person to u?
I mean if he/she can affect your mood & thinking
After you know what he/she done,changing in behavior?!
If he/she is just ordinary friend,
well,,,,who cares?!
But if he/she is important to you?!
I've been betray by my very good fren before
I scare the same thing will happen again
I can't afford to face that again
so,please don't my frenz.....
From that day onward,
I'm afraid to be familiar with new fren
Not that I m ego or not friendly
I just scare I will be hurt one more time
It really hurt!!
Unless I can feel the sincerity of he/she really want to be friend with me

This is same to when a boy want to know a girl
If a boy is not sincere to a girl
Is just of *yi shi chong dong*
Then should stay away from that girl
If a boy really like a girl
Be brave & confess
But not always *hua yan qiao yu*
What does that mean then?
Real or just the boy is flower
To me,girl should not be *zhu dong* one

I will still be friend with new friend
BUT
Is JUST friend.
I got phobia
I glad to have all my friends now!
Thanks friends!
U guys make my life more colorful
Treasure all your you have!

Random

I did heard about the toughness of this subject during last sem from senior. I can say,is really difficult.* this only apply to lousy student like me.!* I did try my best to learn & memories..I know I did study that but when I want to write it out,it just disappear.......dun koe where it gone. Just missing in space. Is it a kind of waste?!...I know i shouldn't think that. STUDY is our responsible as a student. *study good.........,the more u study the more secure your life............,* U will often heard this from the elderly...I didn't denied. But to do so, u need to have a great desire & interest. I dun think there is anyone interest is study...I supposed. At our age,we often think working is better but worker think study is better. Well,,,,,,this is human. We will never satisfied what we have. We often think other people is better than us in everything. So do I.....What we see sometimes is not reality. There might be another story behind it..


Lastly,I wanna wish my dad, Happy Birthday Dad! Wish u stay healthy and happy.!
*what a coincidence today is his Chinese & English birthday* well,it seldom happen,hope it will bring lucks to him. =p

Nonsense

This is the place where I throw all the things out from my deep heart. Well,,I guess no one bother to read my blog or know the existing of it..*as is not interesting & my language is just so so* It might be a good things?!....I guess so....Is midterm test again!..today is the first subject,one more on friday.2 more after midterm holiday=no holiday for me..how sad is it.T.T...the most I hate is I tend to forget what I learn when I sit for exam..The idea is there but the appropriate term is just out of my mind. I did try my best but......everything will have a *BUT*...how good is it if everything are just of what we dream what we wish what we want what we hope...God give a lot of challenge for everyone of us..it depend how u treat & see it....I admit I m not a strong girl...when I face problem, I only can tell two of my best friends..I really glad to know those two gals..my life will be sort of something without them....and recently people tend ask *why are u single?* I ans: sometimes is good to be single. Well,,,it still depends.....

Ps: just being emo